


The Tip-off

by amarielah



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Gender/Sexuality, F/M, Gen, IDW!Spike is a Fuckboy, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Infidelity, Interspecies Awkwardness, M/M, Past Chromedome/Prowl - Freeform, Ultra Magnus is a Nerd, Unreliable Narrator, prowl week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amarielah/pseuds/amarielah
Summary: Prowl has growing suspicions about Spike Witwicky. In the process of his investigation, he makes some baffling discoveries about Spike's love life, and discusses the implications with Ultra Magnus.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	The Tip-off

**Author's Note:**

> A canon-compliant snapshot that serves as a prelude to the Police Action arc of the 2009 Transformers ongoing.

> _The thing is—it all checks out. He meets with a senator. He meets with generals. Then a woman. Then the local county sheriff. Then another woman. Then this lobbyist. Who is a woman._
> 
> _He’s got at least two more like this stashed away in Albequerque. Human relationships. No sense to them._

\- Prowl, The Transformers (2009), issue #25

* * *

Prowl didn’t like to be suspicious of his allies, but it was part of his job. And Spike Witwicky was raising a lot of red flags as of late. 

It was just a hunch. Nothing to get the others worked up about yet. But he’d taken to trailing the human every now and then. Very discreetly. 

There was nothing too notable about Spike’s behavior. Just...lots of different women. That he was apparently in romantic relationships with. At the same time.

Prowl didn’t know why that detail stuck with him. It wasn't like it was news that humans and Cybertronians had massive cultural differences.

Still, his gut told him that this was something noteworthy. And it usually paid to listen to his gut.

* * *

“About Sarah,” Prowl said, once Spike was done with his most recent briefing.

“Sarah who?” asked Spike.

“You used to...date...a woman named Sarah. Whatever happened to her?”

“Oh, _that_ Sarah.” Spike didn’t look offended. Just mildly bemused. “She and I broke up a while ago. Why do you ask?”

A half-truth was always better than a lie. “I’m trying to understand human relationships better.”

Spike made a thoughtful sound. “I guess the concept of romance must seem pretty bizarre to you guys.”

Prowl raised an optic ridge. That was an odd assumption for Spike to make. “Cybertronians have romantic relationships.” 

“But…you’re robots.” Spike looked genuinely baffled. “And you’re all _dudes_.”

That wasn’t technically true, but Prowl didn’t feel like having that particular conversation. He could definitely understand why humans saw them as ‘dudes’, given the secondary sex characteristics and behaviors associated with human men. He could even sort of understand why a human might think mechanical beings like Cybertronians would eschew romance. But... 

“Why would gender factor into it?” asked Prowl. Same-gender coupling wasn’t even unheard of among humans. He knew for a fact that there were several men on this very base who were in what certainly appeared to be romantic relationships with each other. Though they took pains to hide them in a way that the men in relationships with women did not.

Some kind of bizarre social taboo, Prowl guessed. 

Spike blinked. “So...you’re all gay?” Hastily, he added: “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” 

Prowl had never heard that particular term, but he could guess from context what it meant. “I guess so,” he said. 

Spike’s eyes had gone wide. “Do you have _sex_?”

This was getting into uncomfortable territory, but Prowl supposed that turnabout was fair play. “We can be...physically intimate with each other,” he said tightly. It wasn’t technically sex, since it had no basis whatsoever in reproduction. But again, Prowl wasn’t going to go there. “So, Sarah.”

“Right.” Spike let out a breath. “You just gave me some distracting mental images, man.” He cleared his throat. “Things just kind of...fizzled out, you know?”

No, Prowl _didn’t_ know. “This is a common outcome in human romances?” Prowl was under the impression that the ideal of human romance wasn’t too far off from Cybertronian. At least as far as commitment was concerned. Certainly, almost every major human figure made a point of flaunting their partner.

“Sure,” said Spike. “It isn’t for Cybertronians?”

Prowl clamped down on his rising agitation. His own failed romance was a matter of common knowledge among the Autobots, and was a topic they avoided like a rust plague. “Romance is a big step to take for us,” said Prowl. “And if it ends for any reason besides death, it’s always messy.”

“I mean, it _can_ get that way for humans,” said Spike, crossing his arms over his chest. “But only once you meet the right person. With my job, I can’t afford to let myself get tied down like that.”

That statement just raised a whole bunch of new questions, but Prowl didn’t want to draw this out any longer. “Understood,” he said. “I apologize if I...overstepped.”

“No worries,” said Spike, giving him a half-smile. “If that’s all?”

“Yes. Dismissed.”

* * *

Ultra Magnus was doing paperwork when Prowl entered his office. All things considered, he’d taken Hot Rod stealing his ship and stranding him on Earth in stride. It was a trade-off that Prowl was personally pretty happy with.

“Hello, Prowl,” said Magnus, setting down his datapad. “What can I help you with?”

“You’re the bot with the most experience when it comes to organics.” Prowl had more experience with humans, but this problem could use a broader perspective. Plus, when it came to deductive reasoning, Magnus was almost as good as him. “Humans engage in casual romances,” Prowl continued. “Sometimes even several at once. Is this normal for organics?” 

“Ah, yes,” said Magnus. “I believe so. Those that rely on sexual reproduction are faced with a complex set of evolutionary incentives that can allow for short-term mating to be a successful strategy, depending on circumstances.” He frowned thoughtfully. “In the case of humans, an extended maturation period for offspring would incentivize the establishment of pair bonding in order to maximize the probability that offspring will survive to sexual maturity. Males expend less energy in the process, however, and thus face less physical risk by partaking in reproduction outside of the pair bond. By that same token, females may choose to seek out multiple partners as a kind of insurance against the loss of their mate’s support.

“Of course, the calculus becomes very different when you deal with species that have a shorter maturation period—” 

Prowl reset his vocalizer. If he didn’t cut this off now, it was likely that Magnus would continue indefinitely. He could be just as bad as Perceptor, if you got him going on the right topic. “That’s all very logical, Magnus, but kids aren’t always involved.” 

“Well naturally, reproduction is only one factor. Organic evolution is a process that tends towards energy conservation, meaning that a single behavior may serve multiple functions. Highly intelligent species often devise a means of forestalling one function in favor of another. Such as experiencing the, erm—” Magnus shifted ever-so-slightly, “—pleasant sensations of mating, or using it purely as a form of social bonding, without allowing for fertilization to occur. But its function as a source of social bonding is usually far less pronounced than with Cybetronian interfacing, due to the complex incentives and tradeoffs involved. This would of course allow for more short-term mating opportunities without the risk of either offspring or strong emotional entanglements.”

“I guess their finite lifespans mean that they can’t afford to be as picky as us,” said Prowl. He had only ever interfaced with one mech in all his millions of years of consciousness. And after that relationship had fallen through, he had no intention of ever doing so again. 

Not unless Chromedome finally came to his senses, at least.

“Indeed,” said Magnus, oblivious to the turn in Prowl’s mood. “This is why I’ve always found comparisons between organic mating and Cybertronian interfacing to be rather dubious, despite the fact that they may sometimes bear superficial similarities.” 

Time to cut to the chase. “So, let’s say that a human man was engaging in multiple, simultaneous romantic relationships, where his partners appear to be unaware that the others exist. How would you rate his moral character?” Such behavior from a Cybertronian would be a betrayal of the highest order, and was practically unthinkable for most mechs. Prowl could scarcely fathom the level of emotional energy it would take to juggle so many intimate relationships at once. 

Magnus stroked his chin. “That would depend on whether he was misleading his partners into believing he was devoted to them. If they understand that his interest is casual, and consent not to be his exclusive partner, then it’s not unethical behavior. Merely reckless, though that too depends on a number of factors. If he’s misleading them, however...” Magnus dropped his hand, frowning. “I would consider that to be parasitic behavior, and the human in question to be contemptible.”

“Not trustworthy, then,” said Prowl, his mood dipping even further. The truth was that he liked Spike. As usual, Prowl was right. And, as usual, he wasn't happy about it.

“Not even remotely trustworthy,” Magnus confirmed. He then paused for a moment, as if a thought had suddenly occurred to him. “As much as I appreciate the chance to discuss this, Prowl, I somehow doubt you ask out of pure intellectual curiosity.”

Prowl nodded. “I’ve been getting a feeling about Spike. Started trailing him from time to time.”

Magnus steepled his hands. “So he’s the human male that’s engaging in this behavior?”

“I’m pretty sure, yeah. It’s not like I can ask the women, but their interactions with him suggest an emotional investment on their part.” Prowl crossed his arms over his chest. “By my count, he’s juggling relationships with at least four different women. Maybe more.”

“I see,” said Magnus. “Given my previous assessment, I believe a full investigation is in order.”

It was vindication, but any satisfaction that Prowl might have felt was overshadowed by the sinking feeling in the pit of his fuel tank.


End file.
